So I am here… it has happened..
Same, same but different. The garden still shows the remnants of its autumn life. I remember the shock of the bare limbs all around but now I am met with colour and sunshine.. How long before they become bare again It’ll be nice to watch from my window.
I strolled down to get a coffee maker, I knew where to go I got one last time after breaking the one here on the toilet bowl! This time theres none.. Follow the Seine and the distant metal structure.. oh its so much, I remember the footpaths all wrinkled and stretched with the summer heat long gone, I remember the garden shops and again wish I could fill the studio with soil and plants, I remember it being too much then and now the smells and the sights make my heart expand and rise in my chest ..I conceive that it may rise so much they I could take a bite by accident.. I am overcome.
The room is filled with the noise of jackhammers and workmen close by I wonder if at night the air will swell again with the music that i remember so fondly from the adjacent school. I hope so.
I recognise this nervous apprehension, its why I wanted to come back. I longed to feel it again, an all consuming emotional state.. its starting again…….. I think I may have romanticised this in state in reflection... I hold back tears and make some coffee..
I am thinking I may have romanticised this emotion in my mind